Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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