I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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