people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
