He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
