I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
