Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
