Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
