She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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