i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
