the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
