So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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