why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I wish i was in the wii world.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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