the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
