im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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