no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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