Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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