We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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