hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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