any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
