remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
