WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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