Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize