I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
