the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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