I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
