maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
