You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
