I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu