i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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