We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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