her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
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I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
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She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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