remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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