Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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