Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Randomize
