3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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