There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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