Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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