we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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