i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize