we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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