I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
