well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
