addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
