It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I can't turn off my feet"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
