I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
