Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
