just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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