Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
