he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
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One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
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I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize