2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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