so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
this will be a night to untag.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You're a waste of cheezeits
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
