That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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