How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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