Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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