party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
