butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm really into asian looking animals
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
