problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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