i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I think people are normalizing furries
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
