i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
