Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I am naked and annoyed.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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