just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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