I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
