Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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