1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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