C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
