people are starting to question the shark bite story
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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